The Guardian's 'Hard Sell' takes on our Cravendale campaign. I think they like it. But I'm not sure.

Traditionally, adverts are meant to make you want to buy the product they're advertising. They're supposed to be aspirational, or funny, or memorable, or just feature a long, drawn-out romance between a couple that couldn't have kept their love alive or overcome the bumps in the romance road without the help of a company that offers both telephone and internet services. But not since the 90s, when alcopop Metz introduced the dream-haunting Judderman (don't YouTube it before bed) has a TV advert made me feel so uncomfortable as the Cravendale Cats With Thumbs.

The 41 seconds of terror begin deceptively quietly, when the question is posed: "Why do cats always stare when you're pouring milk"? Apparently it's because they're plotting. They know it's only a matter of time until they grow thumbs (the crunchy squelchy sound of a sprouting cat thumb will haunt you at 4.35am, when you wake up sweating and shaking as your own moggy scratches at the door). Cravendale wants us to know that when cats have opposable digits, they'll be reading books (on WAR – SIGNIFICANT!!!), sewing, and forming 1960s West Side Story-style gangs, only with worse singing voices. Cats can already see things we can't; what makes you think forming an army to reclaim the world's milk isn't the next step? The irony, of course, is that adult cats are lactose intolerant and shouldn't drink milk. Which means that any act of war over dairy products is just spiteful. The ad closes with the futile words "Jog on, kitty." But it's no use. It's a stark warning of a worrying future when felines rule the planet and humans are left with the worst thing of all: soy milk.

Guardian News & Media (GNM) has today launched its biggest ever summer marketing season, called ‘Music Loves Summer’. Running from now until September, the multimedia marketing and editorial campaign will give readers more than four months of exclusive content, including unrivalled coverage of the biggest music festivals, from Glastonbury to Glyndebourne.

Launching the season today, Chris Lawson, Marketing Director, GNM said: “Summer is the perfect time of year to celebrate music, and our most ambitious themed marketing season to date will have something for everyone, ranging from showcasing new bands to the live-streaming of opera. Alongside our expanded editorial content, we will be supporting the season with a summer-long digital and marketing campaign, targeting music fans across mobile, online and in-paper.”

Music Loves Summer is designed to be the most engaging, collaborative and comprehensive guide to the summer’s music news, reviews and festivals. It aims to drive digital engagement and participation, and develop audiences who can discover and enjoy GNM’s music content across variety online platforms, including the mobile site – m.guardian.co.uk – and guardian.co.uk. Music fans will also be targeted on a range of music-related channels, including branded Guardian channels on YouTube, Spotify and Facebook.

Throughout the season, readers will be invited to share their own experiences and photos from festivals and gigs, some of which will run in the Guardian’s Film & Music supplement and on guardian.co.uk.

The season will also showcase new musical talent, with an exclusive gig bringing to life the Guardian’s popular New Band of the Day column. The gig will feature singer-songwriter Rumer, Britain’s fastest-rising rapper Wretch 32, and retro-modern indie-pop band Summer Camp.

Summary highlights of the Music Loves Summer season:
Music Power 100: a new Guardian list of the most influential people in the UK music industry.
Lady GaGa and the Arctic Monkeys: exclusive interviews.
Opera live-streaming: guardian.co.uk will be live-streaming two Glyndebourne operas – the first time a newspaper has done this.
Festival guide: More festivals than ever before, opportunities to win tickets and festival calendars distributed at key travel points.
Supplements: A seven-day in-paper music series about the history of modern music, a music photography print series and a classical music and opera supplement.
Music Loves Summer is the latest themed marketing season from GNM, and builds on the success of its Film and Start Happy seasons. It will be supported by an extensive media campaign created by Wieden + Kennedy, London, including radio, digital, consumer press adverts, digital rail and underground advertising and promotion across guardian.co.uk, the Guardian and The Observer.