Genuine customer email to Arla about our Cravendale campaign:

What the hell are these Cravendale adverts all about? Were you all high when
you dreamt up this stuff?  You have some guy that likes to ride a bike living with a pirate and a cow. What kind of a household is this? Are the cyclist and the pirate a couple? Is the cow their pet? What is going on here? Are these people employed? Your protagonists appear to live on a farm, but I fail to see how cycling or piracy might adequately equip a person with the skills required to successfully run a farm. To find out more, I contacted five farmers and asked them. Three of out five owned bicycles, but none could think of a way in which this aided their farming. Not one of them had ever dabbled in piracy.
And since when did cows drink milk? This simply doesn’t make any sense.
What’s next for your advertising team? Maybe they could promote pork products by showing us a pig tucking into a bacon sandwich.
A more troubling aspect of your ‘last glass’ advert is that the moment the pirate wakes up he screams ‘Milk! Milk!’ This is patently a sign of addiction. This view is supported by the events that take place in your new ‘out of stock’ advert where the unavailability of milk at the local supermarket drives your characters to hijack a delivery van in order to obtain their lactose fix. Is it reasonable that the pursuit of milk should turn people to criminality? I for one do not think so. All you need to advertise milk is a celebrity of some sort with a big smile, a white ‘milk moustache’ and an empty glass in front of them. What could be more wholesome than that?
                  
Yours sincerely,

xxxxx

Well, we do say that we ‘re here to create ‘strong and provocative relationships between good companies and their customers’. Job done for one Cravendale customer.

So we’ve landed. Hello people. Salutations, one and all.

With a grand old age of 110 (collectively), we are officially the new bumper value lot of WKSiders – here to get in the mix and hopefully add a certain tangy fizz to life at Wiedens. Tasty.

Hick

Thus far it’s been about a week of orientation and getting to know the inner-workings of the big WK; The well stocked cupboards, meetings galore, lots of lovely people, where the toilets are.

For Swedish Dom, his time also included the sheer joys of getting to
grips with London transport, moving in and IKEA (hang on a second!). More crucially (to us anyway), Dom has also had the all-important inductions to fine British institutions such as Nandos and Marmite.

On the subject of Dom. We’d like to add that his vocab is ever expanding by the day:

“Guff”
“Gunge”
“Splurge”
“Knackard”
“Cor Blimey!”
“The long and short of it”

(Essential additions, we’re sure you’ll all agree)

A quick nostalgic look at Noels House Party circa ’92 pretty much covered both gunge, splurge and cor blimey in one go.

Last but by no means least! We have also been set our first few briefs. Exciting stuff. These include the WK window and ways in which to detract pesky parkers from pinching the sacred wk moped spaces outiside WK headquarters. All are pleased to have such meaty first projects to sink all 138 gnashers into.

We are also working on a few other bits and bobs of our very own. So watch this space. Here’s a sneak preview…