Sign on the door of Iceland's Head of PR. (Yes, really.)

The final episode of BBC's documentary on the Iceland supermarket chain, 'Life in the Freezer', screened earlier this week. It's essential if uncomfortable viewing for anyone interested in a behind the scenes peek at what an advertising pitch can be like. If you missed it, it's watchable on iPlayer here.

The show presented the pitch for Iceland's account in terms of two conflicts: the one between London ad agency Karmarama and their regional rival, The Tom Reddy Agency; and the one between Iceland's marketing director and their more conservative CEO.

Karmarama apparently never actually got to meet the Iceland CEO. But he confidently characterised them as a London agency "all out of the same mould… sharp suits, pony tails and beautiful girls". Tom Reddy by contrast was a large, northern bloke, "well into his seventies and fifteen stone overweight." Karmarama were shown brainstorming ideas as a team in their colourful offices, while Tom Reddy apparently bashed out concepts on his own while driving up and down the motorway in his Honda, no doubt on his way to another dreary client meeting in some grim industrial estate.

Iceland's marketing director started off talking about bold approaches and the need to "challenge ourselves" and convert new, more upmarket customers. No bullshit CEO Malcolm Walker wasn't convinced by this: it was clear from the outset who was going to get their way. By the final pitch the marketing director was saying, I'm not sure I want to take on this challenge at Christmas… the creative needs to be a bit more mainstream, traditional Iceland campaign."

Karmarama went on a journey too. They started off saying, "We're not going to come back with a Kerry Katona campaign… or a division five celebrity… If you're doing advertising with Kerry Katona what are people going to think about your product?"

(Cut to Malcolm's view: the Katona Kampaign was "Absolutely brilliant. Jackpot. A hole in one.")

Karmarama's initial pitch idea seemed to be identical to the client brief: "Iceland – it's better than you think." Tom Reddy tried to nobble this approach by saying, "Admen and politicians are told: never explain, never apologise." Er, maybe that's why nobody trusts admen and politicians.

By the final pitch Karmarama, apparently beaten into submission by the marketing director's flagging commitment to boldness, were in desperation presenting… a Kerry Katona campaign.

It didn't go well.

It seemed clear that "comfortable old jumper" Tom Reddy was going to win the pitch.

I've done some disastrous client presentations myself. But, thank God, the TV cameras weren't there to broadcast my shame to millions. This scene of Karmarama's Kerry Kapitulation was the most uncomfortable thing to watch since that Channel 5 documentary about the fella with the five-stone testicles.

What I don't understand is – why do agencies, composed of smart, savvy people who understand better than most the way that the media work, agree to appear on things like this and The Apprentice? Experience must tell you that the only possible outcome is that you will be made to look foolish and stereotyped as "London creative types". Is the lure of the temporary celebrity of appearing on telly so strong that people do it regardless?

The last word from Karmarama on the show was, "They're not the easiest client to deal with." But it seems that they have found a way of striking a deal. I read in Campaign that Karmarama has won the job of creating the idents for Iceland's sposorship of "I'm a Celebrity…" This is the result of another pitch against Tom Reddy. So, congrats to Karmarama for proving that persistence can pay off. (Curry flavoured lasagne for the whole agency to celebrate!) I'm amazed that anyone would have the sheer bloody mindedness to sign up for another pitch like the previous one. But perhaps the pitch didn't play out exactly as presented by the programme. And perhaps Iceland's CEO isn't totally opposed to London agencies.

Hmmm… wasn't Kerry Katona on I'm a Celebrity? I wonder if we can expect to see her make a comeback in those idents…

Footnote: can we please have a spin-off series for Iceland's scary head of security? He revealed that his role model is boozing, brawling Jack Regan of the Sweeney. His catchphrases were: "I hate bastard shoplifters" and "drag them out the back and give them a good kicking". Awesome telly.